Pins and Needles and Broken Pieces

Charlotte is an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over her original line of corduroy evening wear. She doesn't perspire. She is a private citizen, yet she receives fan mail. Last summer she toured Scotland with a travelling centrifugal-force demonstration. Her deft floral arrangements have earned her fame in international botany circles. Children trust her.

She can hurl menthol cigarette butts at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. She once read War and Peace, Hamlet and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. She knows the exact location of every good item in Sainsburys. She has performed several covert operations for MI6. She sleeps once a week; when she does sleep, she sleeps in a chair. While on vacation in Paris, she successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small patisserie. The laws of physics do not apply to her.